3/21/11 The First Full Day Of Spring
I was not sure what my first post would be on this blog, when I made the gathering feathers blog in Feb I certainly did not think it would be a post in memory of friends. Although, I did want this blog to be more spiritual in nature so I guess this is appropriate.
Last week two of our friends went home to the Lord. Our friend Phil died last Sunday the 13th. He had been living in California for the past 10 years. I remember when he moved away, I remember feeling upset but knowing it would be good for HIM, not necessarily us (because of our selfish nature). I think it was a good move for him. I think he was happy there, he had made good friends and seemed to be doing things he enjoyed in life with people who shared his lifestyle. It was a shock to hear of his passing. He was always young of heart and spirit, and will forever be so in our memory of him.
Our other friend who passed on last week was Gary. He went home to the Lord on Wed the 16th. In contrast, while 10 years ago we said goodbye to a friend who was leaving for brighter circumstances our parting with Gary was not as positive almost 20 years ago. It was a parting over words, miffed feelings and no reconciliation. It was a parting that should not have happened...but it did. The reason it should not have happened was because he, his wife and my husband and I were very good friends. We treated each other as family, enjoyed our families together, holidays, good times and bad. Ironically we parted ways New Years Day 1993.
We were told by old neighbors about 2 or so years ago that Gary had cancer and was given a time frame. I remember becoming quite upset over this news, I had cried for a few days but really did not know how to handle a reconciliation. So, I didn't. Gary was on my mind quite a bit, as was his wife. I had been through being a wife of a man with cancer...but not one with a defined death sentence in his hand. Although my husband was near death 3 times during his 2 year ordeal I could not relate that to helping my friends who I had not seen for 15 years. Instead, I prayed for Gary and his wife. I prayed every day. I reluctantly looked at the Obits every day, I felt guilty every day for not calling..for being scared to call..all of this made me feel morbid and untrue to the friendship we had.
This past Fall, something wonderful happened. I saw Gary and Anne out at a local Farm Market with Gary's Father and his Sister. Knowing of the information I had received a year and a half earlier about Garry I was delighted to see him looking well. He looked like he had certainly been in a life battle, but he looked recovered. His demeanor was good. 2 more times in the following 2 months I would run in to both of them. We agreed to get in touch through FaceBook and Anne and I did finally in December after she confirmed my friend request. I found out very soon that she spent way less time on FaceBook than I did so we really did not talk or catch up but I knew she was there.
Around the Holidays she posted pictures of she and Gary from a Christmas party. They both looked so wonderful they were simply glowing. This, was to me a sign that he had beat the death sentence. I was elated over seeing the series of pictures. January, February. Once and awhile there would be pictures. Many of family, not many of Gary. I remember feeling alarmed about it one day, but pushed it back deciding I was being of morbid thought again. I did not call. I think I should have.
There is an admonition in the Bible that is uncomfortably important. That is simply, If there be anything between you and a friend-someone you love, get it out in the open and get over it. Forgive each other, get beyond whatever it is. Matthew 5:23-24 23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
Today..I can tell you what this means to me. When you love people, truly love them they are forever in your heart. Things may happen, you part ways, the reasons for the parting fades, within your heart you forgive or ask forgiveness. But, the separation is still there. Whatever gift of friendship, whatever offer of love, whatever help I could have given was lost, never to retrieve the moment to be there for a friend. Never.
But! even in this sadness I can say God IS Good! I did not fully embrace what God did in the Fall, even though I recognized seeing Anne and Gary as God's hand I did not see fully the potential of what He was doing. God gave an opportunity, I admit, I totally missed it. And He gave it not once, but three times.
Today we said goodbye to a friend of our youth. A man who was great with the kids when we would lose our patience. A man who enjoyed cooking and grilling, who loved his Wife and baseball, a man who was dedicated to his Church and his Faith. A man who worked very hard with his wife and they were smart, buying their house when they were quite young, and then worked hard on that. A man who loved his immediate family and his extended family. A man who we shared many laughs with, many beers with, who, with his wife welcomed our friendship as a family member. He is a man who we have missed being in the company of for 18 years and will not have the chance to again on this Earth. God Willing our reconciliation will be given in Heaven when our time arrives.
I will try to set things right to amend what has been broken. A time to Scatter, a Time to Gather... Ecclesiastes 3:1-15. There is a time for every season under Heaven. My Spirit ear is imagining rejoicing and laughter in Heaven as Gary is welcomed there. I thank you God for Love and good memories, and the hope that I will talk to Anne very soon.
